Notes on Banneker Evaluation

In the midst of fourth hour's essays, my notes regarding what to remind you about rhetorical analysis prompts became so lengthy, that I decided just to post a blog about it instead. So, the following will feature a list of reminders, which will sound quite similar to the power point presentation that you experienced after the Gladwell prompt. 

• Formal writing means that you refer to the author and the audience by their LAST NAMES. If you don't know these people - and I'm sure they would be fascinating dinner companions with their experiences and historical importance - you are NOT referring to them by their first names. This becomes a big distraction for your reader who wants a mature, formal expression of the text. 
• Write in PRESENT TENSE. A text is perpetual in its content; it does not change. It becomes even more distracting when a writer flips back and forth throughout the essay with tense. 
• The hook for this one could be about the post-Revolutionary era, the parallel between fighting for freedom against GB and slavery, an account of slavery in a brief scene incorporating fierce imagery and mature diction, a context of abolitionists and their role in post-Revolutionary America, or something cleverly compared to the situation. A rhetorical question is not the way to hook the audience. You should not be including rhetorical questions at all in your writing. 
• Write tight thesis statements. Author + active verb + specific strategies + mature purpose. This is of my own creation: Banneker capitalizes on a pathos-filled analogy, dramatic diction shifts, and complex syntax to argue against slavery and entice Thomas Jefferson to review his stance on those in forced servitude. There are no excess words - or waste of precious seconds. Hence, no need for "rhetorical strategies such as" or "the purpose of." Be direct - be active - be specific to leave your reader with confidence in your future body paragraphs. 
• The order of your thesis is the order of the body paragraphs. During presentations, this occurred a great deal, and it is happening in the essays as well. 
• This prompt had a specific audience - Jefferson (not Thomas, Tommy, or TJ) - and you have to utilize this audience in your essay. Citing multiple audience members (hello, Washington), conveying a plural audience, or not mentioning the audience at all did not help your analysis.
• Verb choice reflects maturity. "Use" becomes redundant and reflective of a less effective presentation. Relying on "to be" verbs (remember when we conjugated on the board) creates passivity instead of active verb strength. 
• Topic sentences should clarify the author, the specific strategy, and the purpose of that strategy. There should be no evidence in the topic sentence as that suggests that the only paragraph is only about that particular sample of evidence. 
• Once you introduce the author and title in the intro, you need only the line numbers in the citations. Precious seconds go by with each time you write more than you need to do. 
• Speaking of citations, the citation doctor is finding a great deal of errors that could be easily fixed: citations go at the end of the sentence, the period ends a sentence and should be found after the citation (if you have a period before and after, you are double punctuating), punctuation rules still exist when you are bringing in evidence. 
• If you don't recognize line numbers in your citations, you are making your evaluator do the work for you. 
• If you are analyzing diction, don't go with "the author instills diction to argue against slavery." If you have a text, you have diction. Be specific with adjectives to clarify what kind of diction is specific to the text. See the above thesis sample for an example. (This also works for tone, syntax, and a plethora of other rhetorical strategies.)
• Each paragraph should feature multiple examples of textual evidence, and these examples should filter throughout the paragraph and not be "dumped" right in the middle. Examples should reflect the entire passage and be from multiple sections. 
• With each passing day, you should have more ethos with rhetorical strategies: names, definitions, samples. While we are still in the midst of learning some of these terms, that does not excuse not knowing the standard ones or the recently learned advanced ones. You need to know these terms for class, for prompts, for the test (look, I just used asyndeton to make my point). Take one term a day and commit it to memory to help you with your AP Lang jargon. 
• Cease writing the word "purpose." Instead, directly state the purpose. Don't make your audience do extra work. 
• Don't list your body paragraphs as first, second, third, or anything that reflects an enumerative objective. Each body paragraph reflects a strategy utilized throughout the text's entirety. 
• Don't start the conclusion with "In conclusion." It is self-explanatory.
• Write in THIRD PERSON. No I, me, we, us, or you. Not to sound snarky, but the essay is not about you or your eventual evaluator; it is about Banneker and his letter.        
• And, of course, close read the passage!